The Lord of the Hyperness
by Sakura-Sango-18
Summary: IM NOT GIVING YOU A SUMMARY! YOU HAVE TO READ IT YOURSELF! MUHAHAHA.....ok I will....NOT!...HAHA...ok i really will this time...What wold happen to the fellowship if they acted a little different? Things would be different, YAY HYPERNESS WILL RULE ALL!
1. The Lord of the Hyperness

Disclaimer~ I dont have anything to do with lord of the rings and its all tolkins and stuff and whats a disclaimer spose   
  
to say? hmmm ok what ever you know!  
  
~The Lord of the Hyperness~  
  
Some where on the fellowships journey....who knows where...they went a lot of places. But anyway....  
  
  
  
They were walking though the woods one day, La la la la la la la....LA LA LA LA LA! You know the song! WALKING THOUGH THE WOODS ONE DAY!  
  
.....anyway.......  
  
As ever one skipping along happily singing that tune how ever it goes. When suddenly! OH NO! ORCS!  
  
Frodo screamed like a girl and ducked behind Sam. "Ill protect you Mr. Frodo!" Sam said as he drew his sword....sadly getting knocked down with out even doing any thing.   
  
  
  
Again Frodo screamed like a girl and ran off to hide behind Arogon who was killing orcs left and right. "DIE DIE DIE!" he screamed ending with an evil laugh, "MUHAHAHAHAHA".  
  
The Hotness himself, Legolas. In his upmost beauty was repelling the orcs off him with his magnificent lovelyness as he just stood there looking at the orcs burst into flames!  
  
Borimer and Gimil did stuff too but who cares! There not important! Ones a traitor and ones short and hairy. To give them some credit, lets say they each killed an orc with each others help.  
  
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAA" sung Pippin who was still skipping along unaware of the horrific battle going on around him.   
  
"PIPPIN!" screamed Merry as he fought off the orcs in the path of the skipping Took. "Pay attention!" he cried as he killed another orc.  
  
"AHHHHHH" another girlish scream came from Frodo who was now running around in circles. "SAVE ME! SAVE ME!" he cried .  
  
At last the battle was over, besides for a couple of scratches on Merry and a cuncussion for Sam ever one was ok.   
  
Just then...Gandalf popped-out out of no where. "YAY! IM HERE!" He yelled! "Someone forgot about me! And left me out!"  
  
Then Gandalf broke into tears and sobbed like a baby for about 4 hours.  
  
"Where is the ring Frodo?" he said in is normal non-sobbing voice  
  
"It is safe." Frodo answered.  
  
"YAY! LETS CELEBRATE JUST FOR THAT!" yelled Pippin "We all need an excuse to get drunk"   
  
They all agreed that since the ring was safe...they should celebrate.  
  
Continuing skipping they found a pub around the corner. Of course.  
  
Pippin got a pint, 3 to be exact. Every one else had a merry-ol' time to. For it was fun to get drunk and act crazy. Just then....A SONG! YAY!  
  
And what better than the Hobbit Drinking Song!  
  
Hey ho, to the bottle I go,  
  
To heal my heart and drown my woe.  
  
Rain may fall, and wind may blow, but there'll still be…  
  
Many miles to go.  
  
Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,  
  
And the stream that falls from hill to plain  
  
Better than rain or rippling brook  
  
AND A MUG OF BEER INSIDE THIS TOOK!  
  
HEY!  
  
As the song ended the group had a few more drinks and kinna go kicked out.   
  
"WEEEEE" yelled Legolas as he found some snow and jumped on and ran across with out falling in. "YAY! I FELL SO SPECIAL!....LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! HAHAHA"  
  
Then he stopped an laid down in it moving his hands and feet. "YAY! IT'S A SNOW ANGLE ELF!"   
  
"Look! I can write my name in the snow!" screamed Gimil. "EWWWWW" everyone said as they did not want to see that.  
  
"We must leave her and rest." said Gandalf. "For tomorrow's journey will hard, especially with a hangover."  
  
"QUIT OLD MAN!" Frodo yelled! "THE NIGHT IS YOUNG! YAY!" he giggled like a girl and skipped off joining Pipping who was making a snowhobbit.  
  
"We only left the bar because they kicked us out!"said Sam  
  
  
  
"OFF WE GO THEN! The forest is full of fun at night especially since were drunk!" said Arogon.  
  
With that said they all held hands and skipped off into the forest singing Safety Dance.  
  
We can dance if you want to!  
  
we can leave your friends behind  
  
because if your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance   
  
then there no friends of mine.  
  
OOOOoooOOOO  
  
WE CAN DANCE!  
  
WE CAN DANCE!  
  
Everybody look at your hands!   
  
WE CAN DANCE!  
  
WE CAN DANCE!  
  
SAFETY DANCE!  
  
  
  
a/n: sorry for the spelling and/or gramer errors and stuff I tried...Please Review! Hehehe and I have no idea when im going to put up the next chapeter. 


	2. The Lord of the Hyperness Ch2

Disclaimer thing........I do not own LOTR or any of the Characters and stuff also any thing eles i forgot to mention!  
  
~LORD OF THE HPYPERNESS~  
  
~CH 2~  
  
As the fellowship danced on into the forest. Much to there suprprise DANGER! was ahead! OH NO!  
  
"WE CAN DANCE!!!!!" every one was singing happyly. WHEN! *POP* out jumped a small hairy drawf.  
  
"HEY EVERYONE!"  
  
"OMG!!!!!!!" Borimer scremed! "THAT SCARED ME!!! I SOILED MYSLEF!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"   
  
"AHHHHHHHHH" scremed Frodo like a little girl   
  
"YAAAAAAY! Its Foorieb! My cousions uncle great newphews uncles friend who died of a napalm accident great great great  
  
grandfater who looked a guy funny who saw a tree who sat on a dog and sang Lollypop who sang it at a concert who knew   
  
KISS and once bought a pice of bread from my great aunts cousions twice removed step sister from hell's dogs sitter   
  
who's monkey gave rabies to a guy who fished by a pond where my fater boated past once!!!!!!" said Gimil.  
  
"HEY!!!!!!!!! ITS ......YOU! who ever you are???" said Foorieb.  
  
"Where did you come from????"asked Gimil  
  
"Actully I serve no pourpose what so ever...SOO I must be off!" said Foorieb as he trooted off.  
  
"BYE!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! MARRY ME!!! NO!!!! COMEBACK!!! WE JUST MEET!!!!YOU HATE ME DONT YOU! NOOO EVERYONE HATES   
  
ME! WHY WHY WHY!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAAAAAAAA" cried a drunken Merry breaking into tears.  
  
"Its ok my son" said Gandalf who also started to cry."I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!" he sobed.   
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" they both squeld  
  
"La La LA LAAAAA La La LALALAAAAAAAAA" sung Pippin. "ITS THE MEXICAN HAT DANCE!!! YAY" he scremed as he pulled out a   
  
sumbrawwo and started to dance around it.   
  
"YAY! I LOVE MEXICAN FOOD" said Arogon  
  
as they dance and acted mexican and Merry and Gandalf cried ever one eles just stood there because thats what they do when  
  
there not mentiond........  
  
SOOOOO after all that was over...THE QUEST FOR A GOOD TIME WAS OFF ONCE MORE!  
  
....I wold just like to mention how beautiful Legolas is....ok on with the story  
  
"LOOK THERES A TREE!" cried Pippin  
  
"Theres lots of tree's here...its a forest." said Merry  
  
"Why do you have to be so negitive about evey thing!!! HAVE SOME FUN! Add more comedy into the comedy relife!" siad Pippin  
  
As soon as Pippin ending his setence he yelled...."LOOK ANOTHER TREE!!! WHATS THE CHANCES OF THAT!!!"  
  
"YAY! A TREE!" yelled Legolas as he ran up to it and huged it.  
  
"oooook" every one said as Legolas had started a conversation with the tree.  
  
"hello"..."im fine. You?"...."thats good. How are the kids?"...."Aww thats great. They grow up so fast."...."YA i know Just   
  
yester day it felt like i was 200!" ....."oh from time to time"....."Ya! its great"....."sometimes"...."Sorry cant tell ya..  
  
where on a "SECRET" mission to Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring and stuff"......"NAW its all good"...."really?" ..."NO!"...  
  
..."that cant be true."....."in my pants"....."lucky charms i would say..but some Irish people scare me....Look at the   
  
people im with!"  
  
"HEY!" said Pippin "A least im not the one talking to a tree!"   
  
As Legolas continued his conversaion with the tree, every one eles just stood there...because like a said before, thats   
  
what they do when there not mentioned.  
  
Finally they decided to camp by that tree because It seemed that Legolas was in deep conversation with it and wasn't going  
  
to move.  
  
As Frodo and Borimer gatered fire wood everyone eles just stood there.  
  
Then they built a fire...then each passed out....except for Legolas who was still talking to the tree.  
  
a/n-sorry again for any spelling errors and stuff and please review! YAY! thanks alot! BYE!! I LOVE YOU!!!! PLEASE COMEBACK! 


	3. The Lord of the Hyperness Ch3

Disclaimer Thingy: Do I have to do this every time? Oh well...Umm I do not own LOTR and stuff like that nor the characters...But I wished I owned Legolas ^.^  
  
~Lord of the Hyperness~  
  
Ch. 3  
  
As the fellowship sleep, in a deep drunken not gonna wake up enven if a bomb droped or single celled orginessims finaly fromed togerther and started a rebeilion aginst   
  
man kind killing off every one and thus ruling the world kinna sleep.  
  
As morning came they woken and no one knew where they were.  
  
"I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM!" Scremed Frodo "SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"  
  
"Clam down Frodo..We are in the Scary Scary Woods Forest." said Gandalf   
  
"AHHHHHHH!!! SCARY SCARY! NOO WERE GONNA DIE!!!!" scremed Pippin in terror.  
  
"Dont worry its just a name" said Arogron  
  
just then he got tackled by tiny hairy evil creatures that breathed fire and brought bad luck.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH WHERE STILL ALL GONNA DIE!" scremed Pippin again  
  
As they battled the weird tiny hairy evil creature things that breathed fire in the scary scary woods forest people that wernt fighting just stood there.  
  
As Arogron finished the last of the weird tiny hairy evil creature things that breathed fire in the scary scary woods forest he said "Ok, the Scary Scary Woods Forest may   
  
be a little scary and dangorus but theres nothing to really fear."  
  
Just then! everyone heard a deep evil laugh "MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"   
  
"AHHHHHHHH" scremed Frodo like a little girl "Pippin was right WERE ARE GONNA DIE!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he scremed as he jumped behind some bushes.  
  
"Draw your wepons men! there is a feirce battle ahead!" said Arogron  
  
As the evil laugh got closer and closer and closer and closer and closer the most evli of all evil jumped infront of them laughing his evil laugh and doing arobics.....  
  
"O DEAR TOLKIN!" scremed Legolas "Its RICHARD SIMMIONS!!!!!"  
  
"OK GUYS AND GALS! LESTS WORK THOSE BUTTOCKS! YAY! WORK IT WORK IT WORK IT!" said Richard Simmions  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH THE HORIBLE PAIN OF IT ALL! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP! .......WHAT IS THIS!!!! I CANT CONTROL MY BODY! ITS MOVING ON ITS OWN!..IM   
  
DOING AROBICS!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" cried Legolas  
  
Just then Frodo jumped back from out of the bushes. "YAY! RICHARD SIMMIONS! I LOVE YOU!!! I HAVE ALL YOUR TAPES!!! I CANT BELIVE ITS YOU!!!!"  
  
Then the cheap 80 music started to everyone was Jazzisizing by force except for Frodo who was enjoying this.  
  
"But Mr. Frodo! WHY!?" asked Sam  
  
"How do you think I keep this Hobbit body slim and my hobbit butt perfect?" said Frodo  
  
"Why yes sir Ive noticed but..." said Sam as he was interupted by every one going "THATS ENOUGH!"  
  
"We must find a way to stop this demon! My Thighs are burning like hell!" said Gimil  
  
"COME ON GUYS! NO PAIN NO GAIN!!! HOORAH!" said Richard Simmions  
  
"STOP STOP STOP!" cried Legolas "HE'S LOOKING AT ME WEIRD!!! NOOOOOOO STOP IT!"  
  
"I KNOW!" cried Gandlaf "FRODO! YOUR ARE ONLY HOPE! You must defeat Richard Simmions! It is your destiny!"   
  
"NOOOOO I cant! I love him! his my idol! NEVER!" cired Frodo  
  
"YOU MUST! FOR THE SAKE OF THE FELLOWSHIP AND THE FATE OF MIDDLE EARTH!" said Gandlaf  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"scremed Frodo  
  
"THEN I MUST!" said Legolas "I must .......defeat him with my beauty!!! Though it pains me to even look at him..I MUST!"  
  
With that said Legolas glazed back at Ricard Simmions and he burst into flames as Legolas burst out in pain..."MY EYES MY EYES!"  
  
"Good Job Legolas" said everyone except Frodo who was crying next to the ashes.  
  
"Now lets hurry and get out of these hellish woods! as soon as we can before......" siad Borimer who stoped and intruputed by a just then.  
  
JUST THEN!!!! .......................there was the exit! HOORAH! cired every one who was glad to get out of there.  
  
"whos idea was it to go in the woods in the first place?" asked Merry.  
  
"I dont remember...." said Arogron  
  
"Who cares, im just glad it over!" said Gandalf "now lets find are packs and carry on"  
  
As they held hands and skipped off Pippin stopped and said....  
  
"where are my pants?"  
  
a/n-I know theres a lot of spelling mistakes and stuff.....Im using WrodPad and theres no spell check and when i go back and over view it, stupid thing wont let me fix it..  
  
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR oh well.....It shold stop you form understanding it....but anyway...REVIEW!!! BAHAHAHAHA 


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